AESSA'S CHILDREN: BOOK ONE -- THE LAST BORDER
By V. A. Watts
(c) 1993
NOTE: This work is under a registered copyright and unauthorized distribution is prohibited and will be prosecuted. All characters are fictional and of my own invention. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Note on pronunciation: Proper Names and nouns within the language most commonly used on Aessa, Lliyassean, allow that each letter have its own sound. The first vowel in each word is long, the following vowels hold the short sound. Therefore, the name Thana is pronounced: T-HAYN-AH. Maygra is MAY-IH-G-RAH, Kieri is KI-ERR-IH, and Jael is JAY-EL. Diminutives such as Jai and Mag are pronounced as written, so Jai would be Ji (long "I") and Mag would be Mag with a short "a". The use of glottal stops is pervasive. Words ending in "I" are masculine gendered, "a" indicates feminine gender, "n" indicates plurals. Partial Glossary is at the end of each chapter.
Duran heard Shadrai's call long before he could react to it. Since his defiance on the mountain, she had punished him for his betrayal by leaving him immobile and blind for weeks at a time, sending servants to feed him and change his clothing and bedding. She tormented him by returning partial feeling to his face or his hands or his organs from time to time -- just enough to make his helplessness all the more excruciating when he was returned to his dark and silent world. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
He had come to know his most common attendant, an older Haian called Akis, who alone of all the other servants and guards, would speak to him as he tended to his needs. He treated Duran as an idiot child for the most part, his words meant as mindless comfort but the sound of his voice was enough to keep the youth from slipping into insanity.
He had lost all sense of time, unable to see the passing of the days. He was denied even the simple comfort of using his Voice or Sight to communicate with the children for Shadrai had locked them away from his Touch entirely. Only Akis gave him any sense that time was indeed passing as the man mentioned how the snow faded from the peaks of Morvan, or how the birds were returning from the southern lands to breed their next generation.
"Ah, she's in a rare taking," the man murmured into Duran's darkness. "Those kin of yours have actually found a way to confuse her this time, lad. She doesn't know if it's an opportunity or a trap," he chuckled quietly as if afraid he would be heard. Duran could not tell what the man was doing exactly, but he could hear water and Akis' voice shifted from near his head to near his feet. "She's at her map again, though, studying it as if it could speak. If I were a younger man I'd shove that cursed thing from the tower window."
"Would you now, my old friend?" A soft silky voice murmured from behind Duran. "You are getting careless, aren't you, Akis? That's the second time you've let me catch you contemplating treason."
The man gasped and Duran strained to decipher by sound alone what had happened. He gasped himself as sight and feeling was returned to him. Shadrai sat on the edge of his bed, her eyes fixed on the cowering figure at her feet. For the first time Duran caught sight of his attendant.
He was aged and half starved, a thin skeletal man with tufts of white hair behind his ears. His face was swollen from a beating that had broken his nose and left little of his right eye.
"You seem to learn so little from your lessons with Mek'Ain, Akis. I shall have to think of another way to teach you obedience," she said in a disappointed voice. "Now, get out," she said almost gently, waiting until he was gone to turn her attention to Duran. She picked up the basin of warm water Akis had been using to bathe Duran, wringing out the soft cloth and continuing the task herself, stroking his bare shoulders and chest with the water.
"I would kill him but he has taken such good care of you, my dear," she said, applying the cloth to his face. "That certainly deserves a reward of some sort. He has fed you and bathed you and cared for you as if you were his own child. Still, he says such hurtful things about me behind my back. I hate disloyalty. What do you think, Duran? If it were up to you, would you reward him for his tender care or punish him for his disloyalty?" she asked, stroking the cloth along his side.
"I would seek the cause of his disloyalty, if all his other actions show him a good . . . servant," he said carefully, his voice hoarse and rough to his own ears.
She set the basin down, turning to face him so she had an arm on either side of his chest. "And what do you think causes his disloyalty, hmmm?"
Duran swallowed, his eyes locked with her pale ones, her face inches from his. "He fears you, Lady, yet perhaps he loves you as well. Loves you, but hates your actions."
"Is that how you feel, my dear? Do you love me and hate me at the same time?"
"I . . . I am only afraid of you, Lady. Afraid of what you will do to my folk."
She sighed, pursing her lips. "How dull. Aren't you afraid for yourself, just a little, Duran? Aren't you afraid I'll leave you in darkness and not send Akis to you to see that you are fed? Isn't that the fear I heard you screaming from in Rhema?"
"I have become more afraid that you will force me against my own again, as you can easily do," he murmured, stiffening as she laid her head against his chest. He fought her commands, but his arms rose to embrace her, holding her as gently as any lover might.
"The only way to overcome a fear is to face it," she said happily. "So I will help you face this fear, Duran. Your distant kin in Ravon have done something to that lovely Web of theirs and I want to know what. I think you and I shall go on another little trip -- perhaps we'll meet with Rhys again and that lovely little friend of his. It will be just like being a family," she purred and moved against him, all silk and desire. "He'll be glad to see you, I'm sure. Perhaps you can even help me give him the little brother or sister he always wanted," she added with a chuckle as she felt/forced him to respond to her caresses. "You know, Duran, I can never tell with you which is more fun: when you are in control or when you think you are."
Duran could make no response, vocal or physical, that she did not command but a small part of him screamed in despair and frustration before he lost all sense of who he was.
An unfamiliar young woman brought them food at midday, an equally unfamiliar young guardsman with her. Maygra swore out loud at the sight of the guard, cursing Laurien for his duplicity. The pair looked startled, retreating from the room quickly.
"They are lovers, Maygra," Jael scolded when they were gone. "He came to be with her, not protect her from us."
Ashamed she flung herself into a chair, picking at her food listlessly. "I still think Laurien lied," she said shoving the plate away. "Lady Below, are they all so easy to read?"
"Their thoughts are as open as any child's. It occurs to none of them to pry or intrude. The structure of their lives is far different than ours."
"Different enough to be a threat?" she asked.
"Different enough to make them afraid."
"Is that your insight or Kevyn's?"
Jael flushed. "A little of both. I obviously know him far more intimately than any of the others and if he is an example of how their training progresses, then the conclusions I draw are mine."
"And how do they train their Gifts?"
"More intensely than we did at Rhema. They begin formal when a child is able to walk and talk rather than in adolescence, before their Gifts become more than murmurs. By the time a child's primary Gift is identified he knows all the basic laws that govern the Gift, its use and its range as well as how secondary Gifts can be used to augment the primary. Depending on his primary Gift and the augments, a child knows what place he will hold in the community by the time he is Renn's age."
"So Kevyn was slotted for the Watch before he knew what course he wanted to follow?" Mikayl asked. "What if he wanted to do or be something else that could use his combination of Gifts?"
"It's not exactly like that," Jael said. "He had the choice but his skills are best utilized in the Watch and so, ultimately, that is what he chose. Just as you chose, Mikayl."
"So Kevyn knew he would be in the Watch before he was old enough to enter and his training was altered to support that destination," Maygra said. "That is not so different -- they just start sooner."
"No. Kevyn originally was meant to work the Web, but his Gift wouldn't sustain that choice," Jael said, staring down at his hands uncomfortably.
"Then they misinterpreted his Gifts? He didn't like the work? What, Jai?" Maygra said exasperated when he did not respond.
"I did not . . . take this information from Kevyn to have his life examined piece by piece," Jael said. "I would rather you ask him directly, or Laurien for that matter."
"They are not here."
"This feels wrong, Mag. It's a betrayal of trust."
"What trust?" she snapped. "Whose? Kevyn's? Jai, they did not trust us enough to tell us our own people were alive. They certainly do not trust us enough to reveal their methods of training. They may not be our enemies, kiri'nai," she continued gently, "but neither are they our allies. Right now, the information you gained from Kevyn is the only information available. You have taken information from the Haian before and not hesitated to share it. What is so different, now? Because Kevyn is Kieri?"
"What I took from the Haian for the most apart was by consent. Kevyn did not consent to my . . . raping his mind."
Maygra drew a sharp breath at Jael's tone, for there was a grief there as deep as that which followed Maia's death. She knelt before him, resting her arms on his knees and caressing his face.
"It was a desperate answer, kiri, but there was no malice behind it. What you did may have been brutal, even violent, but it was not rape. It was not meant to hurt Kevyn but to bring us to some kind of understanding and you did that."
"What my intentions were means little," he said in a whisper and caught her hands. "Maygra, I did more damage in that one desperate gamble than you can possibly imagine. The nightmares he has at night are not his, they are mine. The fear he has of my Voice is a very real one. They are far more different that you realize. Had our Sharing been one quarter of what it was, it would have been more than Kevyn or any of his folk have experienced. They have to work for a casual Voice, Maygra. It is not just a casual Voice they lack, Maygra, but an intimate Voice as well. They use their Voices for specific communication, as the Haian use their language. There are few shades of feeling in Kevyn's Voice. Nor did Laurien know it was possible to use a Voice that way, not between two strangers. Their intimate Voice is used infrequently -- not among friends and only infrequently between lovers. They are as alone in their Gifts as you are without, kira," he sighed and released her hands. "I think they would tell you what you want to know. What I know of Kevyn not even his sister knows and I will not betray that trust, however implicit."
"Jael, your reluctance I understand," Maygra pleaded. "You are one of the gentlest, kindest people I have ever known, but what you know could be the key to our survival here."
He pulled away from her, walking to the balcony and staring out over the inner courtyard between the kitchens and the other residence wing. Maygra and Mikayl exchanged anxious looks as the dark-haired Kieri leaned against the stone wall, smoothing his braid absently.
"Lady Below, they've started," he said suddenly. "Listen, Mikayl. Can you hear them? The whole Keep is at the Web."
Maygra strained to hear and became vaguely aware of the same musical chiming she had heard during her conversation with Derrys.
"They will kill themselves," Jael murmured. "And for what?" He turned suddenly, indecision and worry on his face. "I will not tell you of Kevyn, but what does not belong exclusively to him I will try to explain," he said at last. "The most important thing is to know that no one in Ravon has heard Aessa's Voice. Not one single man, woman or child. Where she Speaks to us, she only whispers to them. Even in their Oathtaking, which they believe in as fervently as we do in ours, they are not sure if the Voice they hear is Hers or their own conscience. The few in their recent history who have heard Her voice, they have sent away from the danger in Ravon -- they are too precious a few to risk."
Maygra stared at his back, stunned. She was unable to conceive of any Kieri who had not heard the Goddess and been sure it was She who Spoke.
"But, Laurien is Makyeri Masyr Maen," Mikayl murmured. "The First Elder Master of Ravon has not heard Aessa? Never?"
"I did not probe him as deeply, but I do not think so. Kevyn is his son, he would know."
"But they are Kieri," Maygra reassured herself. "They are descended from our own ancestors. They are Aessa's Children. Her Guardians?"
"Yes."
"And she does not speak to them?"
"Not so that they know it Her Voice alone. Not as she Speaks to us. They have taken Oaths very similar to ours. What we do because we cannot deny Aessa, they do on blind faith," Jael said heavily.
"Lady Below! And I thought her cruel to our folk to demand so adamantly." She grabbed his arm roughly. "You are certain of this, Jai? This is not some muddled compassion for a single individual? Kevyn does not know this simply because he has never heard Her?"
"No! Not one in a hundred Hear Her. They live to Hear her Voice, believing it will not come until they die."
"Black Wings! No wonder they can't fight Lorisa. It's one thing to fight a holy war, it's another to fight it when you think the bloody Goddess doesn't know you exist."
"Where are you going?" Mikayl said as she headed for the door.
"To the Garden. Whatever else I may believe of them or they of us, I will not let them throw their lives away on that crystal monstrosity without knowing what they are fighting for."
"What are you going to do?" Jael demanded on her heels, Mikayl at her side as she stormed out of the door and into the hall.
"Make the old tyrant Speak!" she snapped.
"Maygra," Mikayl cautioned stepping in front of her to slow her down. "Aessa may well Speak to us, but she doesn't do so on command."
"Maybe not. But what is the one time she does Speak, without exception?"
"When we take our Oaths. When we take the En Eyr Ki'Ka," Jael said his eyes narrowing. "Or when we renew it, such as we did at your confirmation in the Watch, Mal."
"Exactly. We may not be in Rhema, but She has been nagging at me since A'Denna Gul," Maygra said. "If that's what it takes, then we do so in front of the whole Keep. Jai, do you feel up to a wide range Voice?"
"No, but I'll do it anyway."
"But why?" Mikayl asked. "What will it gain us?"
"Maybe nothing. But these people of Ravon have lost hope, Mal. They can't see a way to defeat this sorceress who haunts their border. For a year we have fled an enemy we could not see and did not understand. We have kept our Oaths not because they were Oaths, but because Aessa would not let us forget them. It has made me angry that she has no compassion, but it was also a reminder that regardless of what I wanted, there was a reason for my fight; some hope that there would be an end someday," she said, suddenly quiet. "Not just for me, but for all our people. But only if we keep Aessa safe while she heals. Any end to a conflict, however far away, is better than never being able to see the end," she hesitated, eyeing Jael. "It doesn't matter what happens in this lifetime, but there is a promise that someday all the Kieri ever born or yet to be born will get their own rest eventually. I knew that in Rhema and again in DunStan Cald. I forgot for a while."
"And what if she doesn't speak when we restate our Oaths?" Mikayl asked.
"Then I will ride all the way back to A'Denna Gul and open that bloody big damn door," Maygra said tersely, only half joking. "We lose nothing in the attempt, either way. Let Ravon think what they will. If even the attempt will motivate them into some kind of offensive action, I'll be satisfied. I want Lorisa. I want her broken as she broke Rhema. I don't care if she is Kieri or what Oaths I took," she added fiercely. "I want her to pay for every life she took, if it takes me all eternity to make her pay."
"Maygra!" a voice behind them called and all three whirled to find Renn and Kiva running to catch up. Jurrana tried to follow, carrying both the babies.
Maygra stooped down. "What is it, Renn?" she asked the boy.
"It's not me, it's Kiva. She wanted out so here we are. She has somewhere she wants us to go, I think," he said. Kiva pulled on his arm, grabbing Mikayl's hand as well to drag him along the hall.
"What's wrong with the girl?" Jurrana asked breathlessly.
"I'm not sure," Maygra said.
"The Tower," Renn said suddenly staring at the child. "She wants to go to the Tower."
"We're heading that way any way," Jael commented.
"So we are. Lead on, kira," Maygra said and followed the girl. A few steps had them all running, the urgency in Kiva's face unmistakable and Jurrana's questions left unanswered.
Maygra took the lead, startled to find the broad yard around the Web Garden full of people. She shouldered her way through, growing steadily more uneasy as she saw the faces turned toward the tower. The great carved doors stood open, but the balcony shutters were closed. The Keep's Healers moved through the crowd anxiously, checking people periodically, occasionally helping individuals to sit or lie down, strain on the rapt faces.
No one tried to stop them as they entered the Web chamber. Allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim light, she sought Laurien. The Web itself seemed somewhat brighter, the Guardians still working to maintain its stability, but it was a pale bright color rather than the milky white Maygra had observed before. She found Laurien seated on one of the benches, Kevyn next to him, and to her surprise, Sarai and Rhys nearby as well. The latter two looked pale and weak but they too were concentrating on the Web.
Jael and Mikayl were both wincing under the force of those hundreds of Voices trying to stimulate the Web and even the children looked uncomfortable. Kiva shook her head, staring around wildly until she saw the ramp leading to the balconies. She darted off, Renn following and at Maygra's signal, Mikayl went after the pair.
"Laurien, what are you doing?" Jael demanded standing directly in front of the man.
Laurien barely focused on him, his voice taut with concentration. "Giving back what we have taken. Our strongest Voices are secluded. When we are done they will be able to contact the patrols."
"Your patrols won't have anything left to protect," Maygra said but Laurien ignored her.
Jael shook his head. "It's like shouting to be heard," he said although the chamber was silent save for the steady musical thrumming of the Web. Maygra stared upward, noticing that the chamber was growing lighter. She followed the source and found Renn, Kiva and Mikayl steadily working to throw open the shutters over the balconies, allowing the afternoon sunlight to stream in. The shutters were meant to keep rain and snow off the Guardians, but as they were opened, the Web seemed to take on more of the violet blue color Derrys had told her was the normal tint when the Iimarin were at strength.
"All energy . . . ," she murmured her eyes widening. She grabbed Jael's arm and ran toward the opposite ramp. "Open them, Jai. All the shutters to the top," she ordered and he obeyed. As if they had triggered something, those at the top balconies also opened the shutters, filling the three-story tower with light. The Web seemed to swell, the strands moving gracefully as if stretching to receive the light.
Maygra and Jael met up with the other three at the center of the first balcony, staring down at the great Web. "Can you hear it?" Maygra said, as each chime grew stronger.
"Oh, yes," Mikayl breathed, enchanted by the sight and sound of the Web. "Will the light be enough?"
"I don't know, but we're not done yet. Ready, Jael?"
"As I ever will be. This may distract them more than it helps."
"Well, if the Web gathers strength from the unspoken and the spoken word, let's see what the Voice of the Goddess does for it," Maygra said. She clasped Jael's hand on her left and Mikayl on the right, the children before them staring down at the Web.
Maygra started, amazed as always how easily the words of her Oath came to her. The words had not been taught in Rhema, they came as naturally as breathing when it was time.
"Let none come between this Oath I make to Aessa. From Her thoughts came the first of us. From Her thoughts come the last of us. While she sleeps, we wait. While she rests, we wait. While she heals, we guard." Maygra said softly, not striving to be heard by anyone else in the chamber, only to be heard by the sleeping immortal beneath the earth on which the Tower was built. Jael then Mikayl joined her, their Oaths reinforced by their combined Voices.
"I will pledge no Oath to any but You. I will hold no promise save this to You. I will turn no hand against Kin save at Your Command. My Life is Your Shield. The Gifts You gave, will be your sword, your will, yours to command. Each alone you sent us to this place, to this time, to this task. Be I one or many, I will be your Guardian, your Tool, your Chosen. I may walk a hundred lives before this promise is fulfilled but as I breath, it holds. As I live it holds. As I die it holds. Until the world breaks, it holds. Your word alone will free me. Your promise my only reward. Will you answer?"
The feeling inside Maygra built until she went weak with the force of it. If she had any doubts Aessa would answer, they faded under the combination of joy and terror she felt as Aessa Saw her. Her reasons for making so public an Oath all but faded as the Goddess Spoke to her and only to her. She had no doubts that Aessa Spoke to Jael and Mikayl as well, for their hands gripped hers so fiercely she would have cried from the pain. For all the anger she often felt at the sleeping presence, Aessa's dreaming Voice, when it Spoke confirmed only what had sustained a frightened child for so many years, that despite all her suffering the Lady knew Maygra suffered for Her sake.
When the world breaks at my word, I will free you. I made you and you are mine. I will unmake you and you will be mine. If I am lost, so will you be lost. This promise I make to you the first and last of my children. Made, not born. Chosen, not forsaken. You are the Wanderers of my dreams and the Guardians of my nightmares. So you shall be until I wake and then your own dreams will be your truth.
The Voice was strong and clear, echoing deep within Maygra but she could hear the Lady's words echo through every heart that had the Gift to hear Her. She thought she heard crying but she could not be sure for Aessa had not finished speaking to her yet.
Here will you find what Gift I have given you, Maygra, daughter of Ila and Makaen. In this place, in this time, will you surrender all you love for all you love. As your payment for the crimes you have committed at my command, you will gain all that you demanded of me and lose all that you have gained for yourself.
Maygra staggered, leaning against Jael as the Presence left her. The promises made were as confusing as anything Aessa had ever said but her own spirit answered with a different hope and cautious offering to dreaming Goddess.
She drew a deep breath, feeling Jael release her and opened her eyes to stare outward. Below them the Web had become a shimmer of blue light, its Song as full and sweet as any Maygra had ever heard. Every face in the chamber was fixed on the bright crystals.
"Can you hear Her, Mag?" Jael murmured. "She was here all the time, her Voice is the song of the Web. They did not know how to listen."
Maygra listened, hearing only music at first until she realized it was like a kind of laughter. Laughter from a Voice as familiar as her own. She smiled, pulling Renn to her with a tired sigh.
Then as if to mock her the Voice murmured softly. You will gain all that you demanded of me and lose all that you have gained for yourself.
She swallowed, holding Renn a little closer and looking down. Her eyes met Rhys' across the chamber, his eyes wide and staring as if he, too, had heard the Voice. She had no time to evaluate his expression before laughter of a different sort, springing from many different throats, filled the chamber and sent the Web dancing in ecstasy.
GLOSSARY
A'del'eva:..............Literally: "By your oaths to Aessa" A war cry and a summons. (think au seccors)asa:........................Literally: Truth. an affirmative as in, "yes" or "is it not so?"
Graen:....................pl. Mountains, (also Grae; Mountain)
hait:........................ "To Me" or "Here", imperative, a summons.
kira'sai:...................f. sister, little sister, beloved sister, [familial]kira:........................f. little one, child (diminutive)
kiri:........................m.little one, child (diminutive)
kiri'nai:...................m.brother, little brother, beloved brother [familial]
Makyera:................f. First, as in a title.
Makyera Gen:........as in First Sword a title, overall commander of the Watch (also: gen... sword, shield, defense)
Masyra-Maena:......f. title of rank for females, equivalent of Lord-Master, title for a member of the Elder Council (or Lady-Master)
n'gari:.......................large lizards, desert scavengers, about the size of a rhinoceros, but looking more like komodo dragons.
Shadrai:...................Literally, Shadow Speaker.
shan'nai:.................m.Wise man or brother, an affectionate term of respect. Used between equals.
shan'sai:..................f.Wise woman or sister, an affectionate term of respect. Used between equals.
theris:.......................fruit bearing tree native to Elerak and the Eastern Plains, rather like a pulpy pomegranate
uralen:.....................pl. Ural; a large cliff dwelling bird, average wingspan is about 20 feet, scavengers mostly.
varin:........................a breed of extremely stocky, sure-footed horses, powerful bodies but small heads. (pl. varinen)
vegen:........................historically they were small leather-winged creatures, not unlike bats, but with elongated snouts and long flattened tails used as messengers for the gods. (pl. vegenen)