AESSA'S CHILDREN: BOOK ONE -- THE LAST BORDER
By V. A. Watts
(c) 1993
NOTE: This work is under a registered copyright and unauthorized distribution is prohibited and will be prosecuted. All characters are fictional and of my own invention. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Note on pronunciation: Proper Names and nouns within the language most commonly used on Aessa, Lliyassean, allow that each letter have its own sound. The first vowel in each word is long, the following vowels hold the short sound. Therefore, the name Thana is pronounced: T-HAYN-AH. Maygra is MAY-IH-G-RAH, Kieri is KI-ERR-IH, and Jael is JAY-EL. Diminutives such as Jai and Mag are pronounced as written, so Jai would be Ji (long "I") and Mag would be Mag with a short "a". The use of glottal stops is pervasive. Words ending in "I" are masculine gendered, "a" indicates feminine gender, "n" indicates plurals. Partial Glossary is at the end of each chapter.
Provisioning the patrol and posting the rosters aroused no more comment than usual. Rhys and Kevyn agreed that the Rhemans would accompany the rotation to the north in addition to the regular complement. Kevyn's plan of eventually easing Maygra into a peer position was not discussed again and Kevyn went to great pains to keep that aspect from Jael. CHAPTER TWENTY
The two days before they were to depart, however, it was Renn who threatened their secrecy. Maygra was not prepared for the boy's hysterics when she included him in their scheme.
"You promised!" He screamed at her. They were in her chambers in the evening, a routine of togetherness they had fallen into. "You promised you would be here for Damyn!"
"He's not going to die, kiri," she soothed. "Kellas has said so."
"That's not what I mean. I can't Hear him. I can't Talk to him where he is."
"I can't either, Renn. Even if he were awake. You know that."
"That's not true. Kiva says he Hears you."
Maygra frowned. Sarai had questioned Jael on the "voices" Kiva heard, but he could offer little enlightenment and Kiva herself responded no more clearly to Sarai's gentle probes than would any other child her age. Renn was the only person to whom the girl Spoke with any regularity and he had not the vocabulary to describe what she told him. Renn had tried to retell some of her "stories" but they seemed to be only minor anecdotes about daily life in Rhema. Until Kiva was ready to talk again or to Speak to someone other than Renn, neither Sarai nor Jael were able to determine precisely what Renn meant.
"Renn, whatever Kiva thinks, Damyn has never been able to Hear me, not without a great deal of effort and discomfort."
"You promised!" Renn shouted pulling away from her. "Damyn is Oathbound to you and you are Oathbound to me. You said. If he can't protect us then you have to. You have to!"
Maygra met Mikayl and Jael's eyes mutely and Jael knelt beside the boy.
"Sarai and Laurien and Jurrana will protect you, Renn. It was Lorisa who hurt Damyn and she'll hurt others unless we stop her."
"I'll stay," Mikayl said softly. "Maygra and Jael need to go to help Rhys and Kevyn, but I will stay with you, kiri."
"No! Maygra promised, just as Damyn did," Renn said resolutely. "Damyn won't wake up if Maygra's not here!" He sobbed and flung himself into Maygra's arms again.
"Renn, kiri'nai," Maygra said her eyes filling with tears. "I wish I could help Dami, but I can't. I don't know how. Lady, I'd give anything to make him whole again but that's a Healer's work. I'm not a Healer. I'm a warrior and the best way I can help you and Damyn is to do what I was trained to do and destroy the sorceress who killed our people."
"If you go away, Dami will die!" Renn sobbed. "Kiva says you're shared . . . you're tied . . . I don't understand what she means."
"Neither do I," Maygra murmured settling her eyes on Kiva. The girl sat on the edge of Maygra's bed, her face impassive under the freshly combed curls.
"Is she Speaking now, Renn?" Jael asked, coming to sit beside the child. Kiva climbed into his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck.
"Yes. She says Maygra has to be here when Damyn wants to wake up. They're shared."
Jael was listening intently, shaking his head when Renn collapsed into tears again. "There's nothing. He's not imagining this, Maygra. Either Kiva is Talking to him or someone else is. If it's Kiva, I can't detect it."
"Neither can I," Mikayl said. "Kiva, are you Talking to Renn? Can you Talk to me or to Jai?" He asked when the child nodded solemnly.
She stared at him, her face showing strain and worry. After a moment she shook her head and leaned her forehead against Jael's. Jael tried to relax, allowing the girl to snuggle closer and take her time. Suddenly Kiva gave a little moan and then a sob and Jael's face went white with pain. Mikayl interceded, snatching Kiva up in his arms as Jael lurched away from the girl.
Kiva cried silently, her body trembling until Mikayl was able to soothe her. Jael got to his feet, one hand pressed against his temples.
"Maiden's Wings!" He swore softly. "It's worse than with you, Mag," he murmured, accepting the cup of wine she poured him. A knock on her door brought her attention around and she called out impatiently.
Kevyn stood there, nearly as white-faced as Jael. "I knew it was you," he said, wincing at the sound of his own voice. "What in the Maiden's Wastes was that?"
"A badly planned experiment," Maygra snapped. "Oh, come in and sit down, you bloody fool," she said and gave him wine as well. "You, too, Jai. Sit down before you fall down. What happened?"
"She has a Voice," Jael said. "Like none I've ever Heard. It's pitched . . . Lady, I don't know if I can describe it. Renn, does her Voice hurt you?"
"N . . . no," the boy said wiping his tears. "But I have to . . . Listen different . . . than when I do with Dami or with you."
"Different, how?" Maygra asked.
"Like you taught me, Mag. I have to separate the Sound. Like to hear animals, or water or the wind."
"Field training . . . ," Maygra said and glanced at Mikayl. "Field training, Mal. Tracking prey. You isolate the sounds then home in on the one you want."
"Not to interrupt, but could someone please tell me what hit me?" Kevyn asked quietly.
"Kiva's Voice," Jael said. "We need to know what she is saying to Renn."
"Tonight? Lady, can't this wait?"
"No!" Renn and Maygra said in one breath.
"Renn says Maygra is somehow tied to Damyn's healing," Jael said. "She can't go unless either she or Damyn or both fulfill their promise to protect the children."
"I took an Oath," Maygra said, cupping her hand under Renn's chin. "I'd forgotten."
"You have to go!" Kevyn said urgently.
Maygra eyed him speculatively. "I thought so. But for my reasons. I'd like to know what yours are that you feel so strongly."
"You engineered this foray," Kevyn said. "We need your skills, and Jael's, if we're to have any hope of succeeding."
"There's more to it than that," Jael said suddenly, rising to his feet. "There's more to this plan than taking on Lorisa."
"I've got it," Mikayl interrupted softly.
Kevyn hid a sigh, Speaking quietly and urgently as Maygra and Jael turned their attention away from him.
Mikayl's face was also pale with effort, but not with pain. Kiva rested quietly in his arms, tears still drying on her cheeks.
"What can you Hear, Mal?" Maygra asked.
"It's not Hearing, exactly. Not one Voice, anyway. It's as if there were many Voices speaking -- Lady Below!" He murmured and his face went whiter. "It's Damyn. He's so faint . . . his Voice is different than before."
"I told you," Renn said. "It's hard to Hear. It's hard to find him. He can Hear you though, Mag."
"Take me, Mal," Jael murmured, clasping the younger man's shoulders.
Maygra watched them, aware that Mal was sweating despite the coolness of the air and that Kiva was trembling, on the verge of tears again.
. . . .let me go. . . .
NOT A SECOND TIME . . . . a second voice murmured.
The scream that exploded inside Maygra's head drove her to her knees. She echoed that scream with one of her own and felt as though something were torn away from her. She recognized the Voice and the desperate cry and was on her feet, staggering to the door. She collided with Rhys, almost knocking Merida to the floor as they entered.
Maygra, can you hear me? Jael demanded.
Shut up, Jai, or I'll lose him entirely, she responded. "Get out of my way!" she snarled at Rhys, pushing past him and into the hall.
"Let her go, Rhys!" Kevyn snapped, pulling Jael to his feet. "Go, Renn. Help Maygra. Merida go to the Healing rooms, you're going to be needed."
Mikayl had also turned, passing Kiva into Rhys' startled arms. "Bring her," the Rheman said tersely and went after his sister.
"What was that scream?" Rhys demanded, trying to hold Kiva gently. The girl was crying, her face buried against his shirt, her small hands pressed against her head.
"Damyn," Jael said.
"Damyn?" Merida repeated, her face going white.
"And Lorisa."
Maygra moved as if blinded. Her head ached violently and she barely recognized the small hand that slipped into hers, leading her down the stairs. She did not notice falling, all her concentration was focused on the faint Voice. Reaching the Healing rooms, she and Renn elicited gasps of concern. Renn's face was scraped raw from their fall down the steps and Maygra was limping, her forehead bruised and bloodied.
Kellas was leaning over Damyn, a potion held ready but he hesitated at the sight of them. "What happened to you two?"
"What are you doing?"
"He had a convulsion. This will relax him . . . !" he started as Maygra knocked the cup from his hand. "Maygra, let me do my work!" Kellas said, pulling her away.
"He needs her, not you!" Renn said shoving the Healer.
Maygra ignored the exchange between Healer and boy, grasping Damyn's hands and pressing her forehead against Damyn's.
I'm here, Dami. Listen to me, kiri. Talk to me. The response was faint and frightened and there was a second voice echoing Maygra's words from another source.
she speaks so softly . . . , Damyn murmured.
I don't, Maygra Said forcibly. And I don't Speak to the Darkness. Shadrai will not have you, ki'ta, not while I live. Can you hear me, Damyn?
YOU SEEM VERY SURE OF YOURSELF, WHOEVER YOU ARE . . . , the second Voice mocked.
As sure as I need to be, you bitch! Maygra snarled. You've some clever tricks, Lorisa. Not clever enough though. You couldn't keep your son, couldn't quite control Duran and you bloody well couldn't find seven battered fugitives. Your success rate isn't too great, is it, sorceress? Maygra taunted. She used her new-found Gift inexpertly, but she could feel Jael slide between her and Damyn and the faint discomfort brought on by contact with a Healer.
I remember you! Lorisa said coolly. I thought you were dead. Duran's commander. Maygra, isn't it? You seem a little worse for wear, my dear.
No worse than you, you old hag. How long have you been on this little campaign of yours, Lorisa? A century or two?
Name calling, Maygra? How disappointing, but how entertaining. You're not very good at this, are you? Head hurting a bit?
More than her head hurt and she was tiring rapidly, but the others were still working on Damyn and they needed time.
Your voice always did grate on my nerves, mother.
Maygra's senses reeled as Rhys added his Voice, then she felt strong arms and a stronger will bearing her up.
No wonder you ran away from home, Maygra added gamely and Felt Rhys chuckle.
We've not been properly introduced, Rhys, but I don't much approve of the company you're keeping, Lorisa said.
You never approved of anything I did, Lorisa.
That hurts, my son. And it's untrue. Do you remember the lovely pictures we used to draw, and the games we played? No, I suppose not. I'm sure your new friends made certain that you would remember only the bad things.
Rhys faltered and Maygra felt the change in Lorisa's Voice, an unnatural edge that made her nauseated.
You'll get no sympathy for being a bad mother, Maygra said and winced as Lorisa turned her spell. With surprising ease Maygra resisted. Over-extending yourself, are you, my dear? Maygra taunted, Lorisa's surprise at her resistance and a nudge from Jael giving her confidence. Web or no Web, we're not as easily taken as that. You'll have to sit on top of the damn thing to get any use out of it.
I'll finish what I started in Rhema, Maygra. I promise, I'll save you for last so you'll suffer more than just a few scars on your face. Lorisa snarled, frustrated and angry.
Idle threat, hag, but you'll have your chance. Until then, suffer this! Maygra snarled and severed the contact, sliding back into her normal range. The pain was worth the echo she Felt from Lorisa before Jael's Shield once more buffered her fragile mind. She regretted the pain she felt as it echoed in Rhys, but the regrets faded with her senses.
"Shhhh. Don't resist," a soft voice murmured and she opened her eyes to find Merida bending anxiously over her. The Healer's fingertips were pressed against her temples, the pain fading even as sight and hearing returned. "Don't try to get up just yet, Maygra. Your little conversation with Lorisa has done some damage."
"Damage I can live with if it's not fatal. How is Damyn? And Rhys?"
"I should have left you with that headache," Merida said with a sigh. "Rhys is fine. Better than you. Damyn is . . . ." She smiled faintly and gestured to someone at Maygra's left.
Mikayl slid his arm under her shoulder and back, easing her to a sitting position so she could see the bed beside her.
Damyn was pale and tired looking, his eyes red-rimmed and wet as he held Renn weakly against his chest, Kiva cuddled against his side and the three of them supported by Jael.
Maygra covered her face with her hands, leaning against her brother.
"Not alone," Mikayl murmured and picked her up, carrying her to the other bed and settling her beside Damyn before kneeling on the floor next to her.
Maygra clasped the Healer's hand, brushing her lips against his cheek over Renn's head.
"I could only Hear you," Damyn whispered hoarsely, sliding his fingers around her neck. "But I couldn't make you Hear me and I couldn't make Renn and Kiva understand."
"It wasn't a dream then," she said.
"It was a nightmare. The other night, you needed me so desperately that I found a way, but I still couldn't explain. I was afraid to wake up. Shadrai would have been with me," he said haltingly, gasping as he tried to control his fear.
"Don't. She's gone. Asa, Jai, Merida?" she promised looking for confirmation.
Jael and Merida exchanged an odd glance before the Healer nodded. "She's gone and whatever influence she was wielding. There's damage still -- healing to be done yet. But it's healing I know how to do" she added wryly. "And it needs to begin soon. This may sound cruel, but Damyn really does need rest."
"Please, Makyera Ki'Yajir, let me rest with my family close by. I have been alone long enough," Damyn said squeezing Maygra's hand.
Merida shook her head resignedly. "As you will, but see that he gets some sleep," she warned. "I'll have some beds made up, unless you all plan to sleep on one cot."
"If only we could," Maygra murmured, pulling Damyn's head against her shoulder. She barely noticed when Mikayl moved her gently to the cot next to Damyn's again and curled up next to her.
An alert from the Web had Laurien up with the dawn, Sarai and Rhys arriving with his breakfast.
"How are our guests?" he asked, the three of them settling around the small table next to the hearth in his chambers. Rhys took the seat closest to the door, long legs stretched out toward the fire, accepting a warm mug of cider from Sarai.
"Still sleeping," Sarai said popping a piece of muffin in her mouth. "And should for the rest of the day, according to Merida. That patrol may have to wait."
"It can't. You've spoken to Fayr I assume, Rhys?
"Briefly, which is about all either of us can stand. He's become a problem, Laurien," Rhys said with a scowl. "Derrys had to relay the message. Fayr was `occupied' with other matters."
"Fayr's unwillingness to talk to you directly is the least of our problems," Laurien said, rubbing his bad leg briskly. The events of the previous night had robbed him sleep and the need for this early meeting had interrupted his regular schedule of morning exercise. As a result he was stiff and sore and less patient than usual.
"And the greatest is . . . ?" Sarai asked. "You'd think there was no Gift of Voice as silent as this place has been since yesterday. What's happened?"
"We've lost contact with one of the patrols. The High Trail to be exact," Laurien said somberly. "An hour or so ago."
"Lady protect us," Sarai murmured. "Who's is it?"
"Raida's," Rhys supplied. "Lein is their Voice. He's not particularly strong, so it may be just distance. Nevertheless, we have to send someone after them."
"And you want to be the one to go. Lady, Rhys, Maygra may not be capable of an extended patrol right now and Kevyn's none too steady, either," she said, leaning back in her chair. "Merida will fight you and not just for her brother's sake."
"I expect her to. Kellas has volunteered to go along if Merida will allow it," Rhys said quietly. "If something has happened to Raida and her Guard, a Healer may be needed. I won't have anyone to spare to send back with the injured."
"A Healer on patrol? Merida won't allow that and neither would I," Sarai said. "Does Kellas realize he would be virtually alone?"
"I think he does," Laurien said. "Any injured would have to wait for transportation home, with perhaps only a guard or two until relief could arrive. It's not a decision I like, especially after seeing what Lorisa has done to Damyn, but Rhys is correct."
"I didn't want to press Meri, she was up all night, but how much of a recovery is Damyn likely to make?" Rhys asked.
"It's not clear," Sarai said. "She can sense his Gift, now, but it's still blocked off. By Damyn's own fear is her guess. That's not going to be so easy to cure."
"And may take more time than we have," Laurien said. "I think Maygra will take that patrol if we have to tie her to her mount. Damyn's recovery hasn't lessened her desire to exact revenge on her enemy. I can override Merida if I have to -- she has enough to keep her busy without a reluctant patient."
"As we all do," Sarai said tartly. "I wish you had called me when Kiva's Voice became public, Rhys. By the time I got to her she was so exhausted she couldn't keep her own thoughts straight. Attempting to get at those other Voices was pointless."
"You have a theory though, don't you?" Rhys said. "I know you and Jael have discussed it. What do you think?"
"I'm not ready to say, and no, I won't be pressed for an answer," she scolded with a smile. "All the more reason for you to be careful and come back, all of you and in one piece."
"Other than the inevitable battle with Merida, what other preparations need to be made, Rhys?" Laurien asked.
"None. Kevyn had already readied the patrol. Granted, we weren't planning to leave until tomorrow but with Raida's rotation missing, if we don't go another rotation will have to be called in to assist. That could be done easily enough but we would have to then cover that patrol's range. Kevyn and I have already discussed sending Maric out with our backup rotation and joining him in a day or so, if necessary."
"Necessary because of Maygra?" Sarai asked.
"Necessary unless we can discover what has happened to Raida and her Watch within the next few hours."
Laurien shook his head. "At this point I don't think it matters why. Not that I don't hope that patrol is safe and just out of range. But even if Lein's Voice is weak, the Guardians here should still be able to pinpoint their location. I would ready Maric, Rhys. I'll speak to Maygra. I'll leave Merida to you, kira."
"Coward," Sarai said. "You may also have to speak with Renn since it is Maygra's Oath to him that prompted the entire affair. I should know better than to try to have breakfast with either of you," she said gruffly and kissed both of them before leaving to find her daughter. Rhys started to follow her but Laurien waved him back.
"I won't keep you long," he promised pouring out to mugs of warmed cider. "Not that we've had time, but you've been quiet about last night. What happened with your mother?"
Rhys toyed with the mug, staring into the fire at his feet. "It's more what didn't happen, Laurien," he said quietly. "Either Lorisa has gotten stronger or we were wrong about Maygra."
"In what way? Don't talk to me in riddles, Rhys, although I suppose I deserve it. Something happened when you and Maygra Spoke to your mother. I know it can't have been easy, given Maygra's obstructions."
Leaning across the table, Rhys looked younger and more worried than Laurien had ever seen him and he tensed. Rhys had opened himself wide, not sure he could put into words what he had experienced.
"There weren't any, at the beginning. I followed Kevyn's link to Jael and then to Kiva -- it was like pulling myself along a rope and it may be the way to approach Maygra's . . . obstructions . . . in the future. She was as clear Voiced as you, Lauri, and she was able to bring out an anger in my mother I didn't think was possible. I had an open line to Lorisa. Her defenses were all prepared for Maygra's assault. I did nothing."
"What could you have done? Lady Below, Rhys, you were a peripheral contact!" Laurien said. "Whatever you did, you were still tied to that link with your `rope'. It wasn't Lorisa you were in contact with, not directly."
"You're wrong. I don't know if it was all connected through Damyn, but I was far closer to Lorisa than Kevyn and I were on Arris last winter. If I hadn't been caught off guard, I might have been able to do some damage then. No, I should have been able to inflict some damage. I've been working on those spell-sets for months, Lauri, waiting for this opportunity."
"What do you think happened?"
"I don't know. Mother tried her own spells and I wasn't the one who deflected them."
"You think Maygra was? Rhys, that put us right back to where we were before the Council," Laurien said. He got to his feet stiffly, leaning against the fireplace. "That would mean we can't detect Lorisa's influence with our Gifts or you would have Seen it the night of Council. Unless you think Maygra's abilities inborn?"
Rhys drew a deep breath and looked up. "I can't say. I know that the sorcery I learned is just that, learned. I don't know exactly where Mother learned her spells, but I do know that I can't use my Gifts and sorcery at the same time. They cancel each other out. I can use one against the other but not both at the same time. The Voice Maygra used was Gift-based. Turning Mother's spell was not."
"And you still want to take Maygra on patrol?"
"I want Maygra as far from Ravon as I can get her until I'm sure exactly whose side she's on -- knowing or unknowing. There is one other little bonus to our confrontation last night. I can still Hear Maygra, although it's annoyingly faint. And, she can Hear me. She needs practice and I must admit it's very different from Listening for you or anyone else I know. The benefit is that with some effort we are able to communicate -- it's an odd situation but we've agreed to let it stand with neither of us trying to block the other out. If that changes without my consent, I may be able to find out more about her . . . abilities."
"Don't forget the link works both ways. Kevyn and Jael seem to be having some difficulty."
"It's not quite the same. It takes some effort to use, whereas Kev and Jael's problem seems to be it is too easy to access. If there is treachery involved, this may be just the edge I need. I am far more comfortable with my Gifts than she is with this . . . link. I don't intend for her to be the wolf in our ranks."
Laurien swore softly. "Be careful what you say, Rhys. There is some allowance made in our Oaths for mercy killings; murder is something else entirely."
Rhys rose suddenly, disturbing the table and sending his mug crashing to the floor. He bent down to pick up the pieces and then hesitated, staring at the broken pottery. "I have a feeling that's what Maygra thought she was doing in Rhema -- mercy killings. From what we've seen, she may be right."
He got to his feet, still examining the broken pieces. "If this Gift and sorcery mix is an inborn ability in Maygra then she already possesses what Lorisa wants, the ability to draw power from the Web to use sorcery. If it is inborn, Maygra herself would be the first to realize what a prize she would be for Lorisa to take."
"Does she know this?"
"We haven't discussed it in any depth, though I plan to on the ride. She's still getting used to having a stranger in her head," Rhys said with a faint, bitter smile. "And she's none too pleased that it's me. Still, there is a piece of this missing and I can't figure it out," he said laying the pieces of the cup out on the table and pointing to one piece at a time. "Here, this is Maygra as a whole. She's Kieri, we know. Until last night, she had no steady Gift," he said, fitting the second piece to the first.
"She has had contact with Lorisa at least once before last night," Laurien supplied fingering a third.
"And she has locked portions of herself away that don't appear to be at Lorisa's command," Rhys said. "Yet her Gift last night was as natural as if it had always been there. Her interference with Damyn's senses in Nessa and her interference with the Web appeared to be Gift-born but it might have been sorcery," he shook his head in frustration. "It's as if she changes periodically: first Kieri, then Head-blind as a Haian. No Voice, then a Voice that can reach all the way to Morvan."
"What we are missing is what binds it all together and what's inside," Laurien said softly, fitting the last piece of pottery precariously in place. "The question is, can we sort out the pieces and leave the whole intact?"
Rhys stared at the reconstructed mug, finger poised above it. With a touch, the mug fell apart again.
"How much is it worth?" he murmured and glanced at Laurien. The Maen had no answer for him.
"No and no," Merida said firmly. Sarai found her in her study at the rear of the Healing rooms. The younger woman had tied her dark hair back without braiding it and her gown, while clean, was rumpled; a fact Merida was acutely aware of as she repeatedly tried to smooth the cloth with her hands. Sarai bit her lip, not at all comfortable with the task she had been set. Merida was tired and snappish, her long night of tending the Rhemans had taken its toll on her constitution. "If Maygra decides to go, there is very little I can do to stop her, but I will advise strongly against it. Last night's display has set her back a week in her recovery and if I thought tying her to a bed would do any good, that's exactly what I would prescribe. As for Kellas, I'm surprised you bothered to ask."
"There is some precedence for a Healer going on patrol," Sarai began and sighed as Merida interrupted her.
"A Healer accompanying a patrol to an out-station to visit the Guardians there is hardly the same as sending a Healer with a patrol that is likely to be engaged in combat!" Merida snapped. "You've had basic Healer's training, Maena. Surely you can imagine what such an overflow of violent emotion could do to a Healer?"
"The Rheman Healers frequently accompanied --."
"The Rhemans, the Rhemans! I am sick of hearing how things were done in Rhema!" Merida said coldly. "This is Ravon, not some barbaric outpost fighting for daily survival. And if you bring Lorisa into this, mother, I will scream. I am perfectly aware of what a threat she is -- Lady knows I have patched up the damage she has inflicted enough in the last few years. All the more reason to abide by our traditions."
"Our traditions don't seem to be sufficient any longer, kira," Sarai said gently. "And how can I not bring Lorisa into this discussion? The chances are very good that Raida's patrol has met up with Lorisa's minions. How many lives have we lost in the time it takes to bring our injured home?"
Merida sat down, rubbing her eyes with her hands. "More than I like, but I don't want to add my Healers to that list. It's bad enough when the injured are here. I don't want to contemplate what it would be like in the thick of a battle! It wouldn't be just our people a Healer would expose themselves to, but our enemies as well. Our Gift does not discriminate between friend and foe."
"Surely your Healers could filter out most of the emotion?"
"And do their jobs? Mother, the sensitivity to emotion and pain is what allows us to do our work. Block that out and I'm nothing but an ungifted field surgeon -- and we have those. No. You have given me nothing to justify placing one of my people in such jeopardy. Surely Damyn's condition is enough to support me. Rhema had three Healers, mother, three! It seems to me that their `tradition' of sending Healers into the field gained them very little."
"Meri, I agree it's a risky precedent," Sarai said, coming up behind her and laying her hands on the thin, tense shoulders. "But if Raida's patrol is found and there are injured, they won't be brought back to Ravon immediately. Rhys' patrol will continue on. This is not to be a regular border patrol."
Merida pulled away, getting to her feet and glaring at her mother. "Rhys' patrol. You mean Kevyn's, don't you, Maena? Please don't think I'm an idiot, Sarai. I know what this `patrol' is meant to do and who is to participate. Since you and Laurien and Rhys have gone to such pains to keep this task a secret, I see no reason why I should treat it any different than any other patrol."
Sarai stared at her daughter in shock. Merida's anger was like a slap in the face, barely controlled beneath the tight voice. "We've kept it secret for good reason, kira," she said softly.
"Good enough to keep the rest of the Masyren in the dark? Good enough for Kevyn to be as distant as a stranger? Good enough, I hope, that you don't trust your own daughter with the secret?"
"It's not a matter of trust, Merida. It's a matter of not knowing where the danger is precisely."
"The danger is that since the Rhemans came, the whole Keep is being set against itself. Our people hardly know what to think and our sister Keeps, well, Lady forbid we should keep them apprised of our situation. The Rhemans are like a plague descended upon us, isolating us lest we be contagious," Merida said, her voice breaking. "Did you think I wouldn't support you and father, as I have always done? I might have had you given me reason, but you have not. Do this or that, Meri, and trust us. You taught me to question and analyze before making decisions or acting. Did you really expect me to throw away my whole life's training at your request?"
"I expect you to be reasonable and value compromise," Sarai said stiffly.
"You want compromise? Fine. Maygra may go with my blessing. I'll even help you prepare the litter to carry her on. Kellas remains and if he defies me, or Laurien overrules me, you'll discover how unreasonable I can be. Now, excuse me, Maena, I have patients to tend to," Merida said calmly and left the room.
Sarai sat down slowly, wondering if a plague would not be easier to deal with than the chasm that had opened between her and her daughter. She watched as Merida made her rounds, as cool and efficient as always. The first Healer lingered between the Rhemans, examining Maygra first and then Damyn, her quick smile appearing briefly as she spoke to the Rheman Healer. Spotting Kellas, she motioned him over, whispering something in his ear before squeezing his arm lightly and leaving. Kellas stared after her and then saw Sarai watching him. He opened his mouth to speak, then shook his head and sat down beside Maygra, examining her arm.
With a sigh, she sought Laurien. You may add our daughter to the list of people we may have permanently alienated, she reported and relayed her conversation with Merida to him.
She sounds more hurt than angry, kira, Laurien soothed. And she's right, we haven't given her a good reason why Kellas should endanger himself, even if he's willing.
She cast Maygra off quickly enough, Sarai returned. Which I don't like at all.
Laurien chuckled. I don't think she cast her off, I think she recognizes more than I perhaps, just how difficult it would be to keep Maygra from doing anything she has decided to do. He paused, anxiety making him cautious. And she does see how influenced we are by the Rhemans, even without Lorisa.
Are we back on that again, Lauri? Do you still think this is some elaborate plot of Lorisa's, a trap we're falling into? These plans aren't Maygra's, they are ours.
I know that, my dear, but I do feel as if I'm being manipulated. What I can't decide is by whom.
I suggest you talk to Maygra, then. She feels the same way. Perhaps it is the Lady.
That's not precisely a comfort, Laurien said.
It wasn't meant to be. Sarai replied earnestly.
Kevyn made the decision, and Maric and the bulk of the relief patrol headed for the High Trail before midday. If Maygra was able, the remaining five would leave the next morning. It galled Maygra that she was the cause for the delay and Kellas finally had to threaten to send her to sleep by Gift to ensure she would be rested. She did request that she allowed to return to her own apartments for the night and Merida allowed her on the condition that Maygra stay in bed for the rest of the day. Having won that argument, Ravon's First Healer went to the herb room, preparing a salve and supplies for Maygra to take with her.
"One of the others can do this, Meri. You need rest too," Kevyn scolded following her.
"It soothes my nerves," she said shortly as she ground out a mixture to be taken as a tea. "I suggest you take your own advice."
"Merida, kira'sai, I don't want to leave you angry," he said catching her arm.
His sister glanced up at him, her mouth set in a hard line. "That's easy enough to fix, don't go at all."
"I have to."
She pulled away from him. "No, you don't, nor should you in your condition. This whole plan is ridiculous. What can you possibly hope to accomplish with so few? Morvan is nearly a month away, Kev, and winter not far behind."
"We don't think we're going to have to go as far as Morvan. Lorisa is very likely on her way here."
"Then call your patrols in and let the Web protect us."
"It's not strong enough."
"And whose fault is that?" she hissed. "I'm not an idiot, Kevyn, and neither is Fayr for all he acts it sometimes. I cannot believe that you, or Rhys for that matter, could think that you can take on Lorisa face to face."
"Then what do you suggest, kinaia? This stalemate can't go on forever."
"It's been going on for centuries. Why must we force the issue now?"
"Merida, listen to yourself! How many more of our people need to die? Do you want Ravon to become another Rhema?"
The slap Merida cracked across Kevyn's face could be heard in the Healing rooms. Kevyn stared at his sister, as startled as she by her reaction. Merida's hand went immediately to her mouth, blue eyes filling with tears. Ignoring his stinging face, Kevyn pulled her into his arms, ignoring her resistance. When she finally gave in, it was to go almost limp in his arms, head buried against his shoulder as she sobbed.
He held her tightly, shaking his head when a small group headed by Kellas came to investigate the commotion. The Healer left, herding his fellow Healers away from the chamber door. Jael and Renn remained, the former raising an eyebrow at Kevyn in question.
"It will be all right," Kevyn said half to Merida and half to Jael. Jael started to withdraw, but Renn was not so easily distracted. Before Jael could stop him he was in the room, laying a sympathetic hand on Merida's arm.
"If you ask her, Maygra will promise that Kevyn won't die," he said.
Merida jerked away, staring at the child in disbelief. Seeing Jael in the doorway, her eyes narrowed.
"I'm sure she would, Renn, however promises aren't always kept. I think it's time you went back to your rooms," she added evenly to the boy although her eyes were fixed on Jael.
"My mother always told me not to make promises I can't keep. Maygra keeps her promises," Renn said. "I'll ask her," he said and left the room at a run before any of the adults could stop him.
Merida disengaged herself from Kevyn entirely. "I thought I had made myself clear yesterday," she remarked coldly to Jael.
"You did, Masyra," Jael said. "But as Maygra can't make her own preparations for the morning, Mikayl and I came to do them for her."
"I'm sure Mikayl could have handled it alone."
"Probably," Jael agreed. "I apologize for the interruption. Renn was only concerned for you."
"For me? I thought it was his brother he came to see," she said stiffly.
"It was, but you are inexorably tied to his brother in his mind. You did save his life."
"Hardly. That had more to do with Kellas' skill than mine."
"Not to Renn. You are Ravon's Makyera Ki'Yajir, the First Healer. It is your standards and skills the other Healers emulate, just as Rhema's Healers worked to Damyn's standards. To Renn, you and Maygra are the reasons he has a brother left to visit. He's a child, Masyra. Fine distinctions are lost on a boy of his age," Jael said softly and withdrew.
She stared after him for a moment before composing her face into its calm mask and wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kev. I shouldn't have lost control like that. I promised myself that I would let you choose your own course, no matter what I thought."
"Don't shut me out, Meri," Kevyn pleaded, touching her arm.
"I believe I asked the same of you not too long ago," she said quietly. "Perhaps you should talk to Sarai about the value of compromise. Excuse me," she murmured, gathering up the supplies for Maygra and brushing past him.
If she was disappointed that Kevyn did not follow she gave no sign, stopping by Maygra's bed to give her the small bag. Mikayl sat beside her, Renn perched on the end of Damyn's bed. "The salve is for your arm and I will trust your companions to see that you use it morning and night, Masyra," she said briskly. "The tea is for your circulation and to ease discomfort while you sleep. Once a day is all that is needed, though you may take it twice, but no more."
"I thank you, Ki'Yajir," Maygra said formally, letting Mikayl take the bag as well as the rest of her things. "Both for this and everything else you have done for us. Renn says you have something to ask."
Merida glanced at the boy who watched her expectantly. Damyn's eyes were also on her, faintly amused at his brother's presumption.
"Thoughtful of him," Merida said, forcing a smile for the child. "But he was mistaken."
"If Kevyn dies, it won't be alone," Maygra said softly. "I can promise you that much."
Merida stiffened. "Is that supposed to comfort me? The deaths of our enemies will bring me no more joy than the death of someone I love. I'm not a warrior, Maygra. Your code or whatever it is you live by means nothing to me."
"Masyra, that's not what she meant," Damyn said softly.
"I can't read your thoughts as casually as you do ours, Damyn," Merida replied.
"Neither can I," Maygra said evenly. "Whether you believe me or not, I hold your brother's life as dearly as I hold Mikayl's or Renn's or Damyn's. There's a life between us, Masyra. My Oath doesn't stop with the people I love, either," she said and leaned on Mikayl's arm as they left.
"You should have asked her," Renn said. "She would have promised."
"Promised what, kiri?" Damyn asked as Merida gathered up the used linens on Maygra's bed.
"To keep Kevyn alive. That's what the Masyra is afraid of, that she won't have a brother if they go."
"I'm sure Maygra knows what I fear," Merida said sarcastically.
"I wouldn't be too sure. You have to be more . . . blunt . . . with Maygra than with most," Damyn said as Merida bent to smooth the blanket aver him.
"According to your folk, we're as easy to read as book."
"For Jael or Mikayl, or me, once. But Maygra can neither Hear nor See," Damyn said.
Blue eyes opened wide, meeting paler blue eyes in a tired face. "Last night her Gift . . . ."
"It's gone again, as if it never was. Didn't you notice?"
"How could I? Whether we are able to or not, in Ravon we do not probe people's thoughts without purpose. She was so clear last night."
"Kiva can't Hear her either, anymore. Not since you fixed Damyn. So, you see? You need to ask her," Renn said stubbornly, leaning against the footboard, arms locked around his knees.
"That's enough, Renn," Damyn said. "Do you know where the laundry is, kiri? Then take those linens there for Merida. She's very tired," Damyn added at the boy's nod. "I promise to stay awake until you come back. You can tell me more about Ravon before I go to sleep."
Renn agreed solemnly, taking the linens and scampering off toward the kitchens.
"I don't think I've thanked you yet for what you've done," Damyn said, catching Merida's hand before she could leave.
"It's what I was trained to do -- it is both our good fortunes that my training was so thorough," she replied, pulling her hand away.
"Are you always this prickly, or is it your brother's patrol that has made you so anxious?" Damyn asked. Merida glared but Damyn would not look away. "He's gone on other patrols. Why this one in particular?"
"Surely you know this is no routine patrol? They plan to meet Lorisa, to surprise her somehow. After what you've been through, how can you be so calm?"
"Fatigue. No, Merida, I don't mean to treat this lightly. I know exactly why this sorceress is to be feared, but I also know she has to be stopped if only to prevent what she did to me from happening to another. Please listen," he begged, struggling to get up.
Annoyed, Merida pushed him gently back down, placing an extra pillow behind him to make it easier to sit up. "I'll listen, now stay put," she ordered, settling in a chair beside him. "Until your brother returns, only," she warned.
"I don't know all the details of what's happened since we arrived," he said, catching her hand again. "I only know Maygra's perspective, because that's all I could See. I have not always agreed with her in the past, nor will I in the future. She sees things differently than others do, than you and I."
"And that's supposed to instill confidence?" Merida scoffed. "All your people seem to see things differently than we do here. Different is not necessarily better."
"No, it's not, but tell me honestly, Merida, would you have Kevyn become as I am?" he asked gripping her wrist with feeble strength. "Lorisa didn't capture me, Merida, she let that . . . spell . . . loose in my mind over the span of a dozen heartbeats, in the middle of a battle. She tried to do the same to Maygra but it didn't work. I don't know why anymore than I know why or how Maygra was able to resist her last night."
"That was Rhys' doing," Merida said, pulling her wrist away
"No, it was not, and you know it," Damyn said hoarsely. "Just as you know that it was Jael's Shield that allowed you to finish your work with me. I was a Healer once, too, Ki'Yajir. That Gift may be lost but the training is not."
"That's enough," she said firmly. "You are undoing all that you have gained. Exciting yourself will only make your recovery slower," she added, her tone changing to cool authority.
"I know that voice, too," Damyn said. "Make your probe, Merida. What's left of my mind should be as familiar as your own, by now."
Merida shook her head, but Damyn was resolute and compelling. It took her only a moment to find the tattered remnants of his memories from Rhema. Less time to reexamine the struggle of the night before. When she was done, Damyn released her, sagging back against his pillow, his face pale, his skin sweat dampened. Immediately Merida began wiping at his face and arms with a damp cloth. She worked in silence, partially in guilt at taxing his strength and partially so she could sort out her own thoughts.
"Why is it so important to everyone that I agree with this proposal?" She murmured when he opened his eyes. Confusion showed her eyes, making her look young and uncertain.
"They need your strength," Damyn murmured back, covering the hand at his cheek with his own and pressing the cool cloth against his neck. "I can only guess that you are at least part of the reason why Kevyn and Rhys want Lorisa quelled. She doesn't care much for Healers."
"We don't care much for her, either," Merida said with a faint smile, her eyes still troubled. "You know they could all die in this attempt. Kevyn, Rhys, Maygra and . . . your friends."
"There are worse things than death, kira. Dying with things unresolved is worse -- believe me, I know. Maygra does as well, which is why Renn was able to force her into action last night. She couldn't Hear me at all until Kiva showed Mikayl the path to take. It wasn't her promise to Renn to keep me alive that she had to fulfill, it's mine to her. I promised she wouldn't die alone, a long time ago. She knows she may die, but she's not so frightened now. She won't go seeking her death, but if it comes, she won't be alone inside her head."
"You said she can't Hear you!" Merida exclaimed in confusion.
"She can't Hear me, nor I her any longer, but she can Hear Rhys, now. Jael seems to think he can track the same path Kiva used, but he wants to make sure your brother is properly Shielded before he tries. What is it?" he asked as Merida stiffened.
"Renn should be back soon. Save your strength for him," she advised, rising to her feet.
"I would rather know what it is about my kin that frightens you so," he said, "If you know yourself," he added at her distraught expression.
"Everything about your people frightens me," she whispered. "Your training, your methods, your strange Gifts -- the fact that Lorisa thought you such a prize that she hounded you right to Ravon's door. There is nothing about you which isn't frightening. What is worse is that my own kin think more of your opinion than they do mine. Your presence here has changed my brother, Laurien, Sarai and Rhys, all the people I care most about, and they don't even see it."
"And have you changed?"
She laughed, the sound cold and hard. "Me? I've changed most of all. Had the choice been mine, Damyn, I would have cast you all out, right down to your friend's infant son. A fine compassion for a Healer."
"It's not your Healer's Oath your answering to, Merida. It's your fear and no Oath can conquer that."
"If you tell me to face this fear, I may well do you the same harm I did Kevyn," she said dangerously. "Right now I almost think I should be on the border. Lorisa is the source of all of this, I know, but she is not here. Your folk are. My anger and my fear both have a limited range."
"And your compassion?"
"It has its limits, as well. Kellas wanted to go with the patrol. I wouldn't allow it. I can't imagine how you could, when there were so few of you. Don't you dare laugh at me!" she snapped.
"I can't help it. I had to fight with Rhema's Elder Council to gain that concession. Even Maygra disagreed with me and she wasn't even Makyera Gen at the time. Mother, Sylan and I were determined. It made no sense for us to wait for the injured to be brought home. Lives are precious, more precious than comfortable working conditions," he added pointedly.
"How dare you judge me!" she said angrily.
"I'm not. The healing Gift is no more precious than any other and Healers no weaker for their sensitivity than Seers or Listeners. I am not Makyer in Ravon. You are. How you administrate the Gifts at your command is your choice, but there is no reason why you cannot be the exception to your own rule. If you are so worried about Kevyn, wouldn't you rather be with him than worrying about him here?"
"I cannot do what I have forbidden others to do, nor would Kevyn appreciate it. He thinks I hover too much as it is."
"You can do whatever you choose. The only rules that bind us outside our Oaths are those we create. Are you so bound by your own rules that you'll let anger be the last thing your brother may remember of you?"
Merida stared at him then ran, losing her battle against her tears. Damyn slumped back against his pillows, exhausted. He had dared to say to Merida what her closest kin dared not and there would be no thanks for it. It took all his strength to remain awake until Renn returned, greeting the boy with a warm smile as his brother curled up next to him and began telling him of Ravon. Renn was not disappointed when Damyn fell asleep, Kellas had warned him that his brother needed rest. He was not adept enough at Listening, however, to know that when his brother grew restless, it was not due to dreams about his recent ordeal, but the lonely, haunted look in Merida's blue eyes. When Damyn woke that night drenched in his own sweat, the night Healer immediately at his side, he could not speak of the terror he felt when those blue eyes turned silvery cold and deadly.
To chapter 21
GLOSSARY
A'del'eva:..............Literally: "By your oaths to Aessa" A war cry and a summons. (think au seccors)asa:........................Literally: Truth. an affirmative as in, "yes" or "is it not so?"
Graen:....................pl. Mountains, (also Grae; Mountain)
hait:........................ "To Me" or "Here", imperative, a summons.
kira'sai:...................f. sister, little sister, beloved sister, [familial]
kira:........................f. little one, child (diminutive)
kiri:........................m.little one, child (diminutive)
kiri'nai:...................m.brother, little brother, beloved brother [familial]
Makyera:................f. First, as in a title.
Makyera Gen:........as in First Sword a title, overall commander of the Watch (also: gen... sword, shield, defense)
Masyra-Maena:......f. title of rank for females, equivalent of Lord-Master, title for a member of the Elder Council (or Lady-Master)
n'gari:.......................large lizards, desert scavengers, about the size of a rhinoceros, but looking more like komodo dragons.
Shadrai:...................Literally, Shadow Speaker.
shan'nai:.................m.Wise man or brother, an affectionate term of respect. Used between equals.
shan'sai:..................f.Wise woman or sister, an affectionate term of respect. Used between equals.
theris:.......................fruit bearing tree native to Elerak and the Eastern Plains, rather like a pulpy pomegranate
uralen:.....................pl. Ural; a large cliff dwelling bird, average wingspan is about 20 feet, scavengers mostly.
varin:........................a breed of extremely stocky, sure-footed horses, powerful bodies but small heads. (pl. varinen)
vegen:........................historically they were small leather-winged creatures, not unlike bats, but with elongated snouts and long flattened tails used as messengers for the gods. (pl. vegenen)