|Family Ways Part Five - Nuptials
Rating: NC17, Mature Adult
Note: This story is not for everyone. Heed Warnings, please.
The characters and situations portrayed here are not mine, they belong to the WB. This is a fan authored work and no profit is being made. Please do not link to this story without appropriate warnings. Please do not archive this story without my permission.
They'd been fighting all afternoon. Lee and Pa -- Lee the only one who'd ever dare raise his voice to Pa like that. Pa yelling back. Jarrod had took himself out to livestock barn, shoveling manure, fixing things that they'd let slip.
Missy sat on the back porch shelling peas, half-tempted to go down and help Jarrod out, but if Lee won this fight --
He'd never won before, but Pa wasn't all that happy about any of it. He'd said he'd keep his word, but he was already mad at her. Mad at Jarrod, mad at both of them and now, the way things were going, he'd be mad at Lee afore long.
When Pa was mad at ever-body, it was never a good thing.
She rubbed her hand on her cheek. She could still feel his hand, wondered if her skin was still red. He'd only slapped her though. Hard enough to make her neck hurt but he hadn't used his fist. Told her she could take care of the waste pit all through summer for doing what she'd done.
He'd hit Jarrod a lot harder than he'd hit her. Hit him twice until his mouth was bleeding.
She was surprised Jarrod had waited to say anything. But he had…that night she'd known why. Knew why Jarrod didn't hit back. Lee would've and Pa would beat him bloody for daring so. But Jarrod just took it. He'd done wrong. He knew it, Missy knew it. Her fault. He hadn't even looked at her.
But he'd done it himself, not telling Pa. 'Fraid if he did, Pa'd call off the hunt. He would have too. Might have been mad enough to send Samuel out instead if Jarrod had said.
For once it was her and Jarrod had Pa so upset. She felt bad about that. She did. He'd been so happy last night, laughing with the boys, proud of 'em because they'd given that Jenkins feller a good run. Really, they'd left him plenty of chances to escape and he'd just run himself in circles.
Pa's good mood hadn't lasted past breakfast.
She worried at her lip. She hadn't told Pa what she'd heard Samuel say. Not yet. If Pa changed his mind…well, it wouldn't matter none. If he wasn't going to keep his promise, didn't matter if Samuel died quick or got to run. Quick would be better. She'd rather he got it quick and not quick like that Jenkins feller last night.
She thought that might be what was making Lee so ornery today. Too fast. Over too fast. Hadn't been hardly any fun at all, he said.
"Man left tracks like a herd of cows," Jarrod said when they drug him back in, hung him over the rail in the yard to let the blood stop flowing. She'd still be cleaning it off the kitchen floor, but not so bad if they let him bleed out.
Been noisy too. She and Pa had sat right here last night, listening. Even with the rain falling, they could hear him, hear Jarrod and Lee calling out, laughing. Made Pa smile to hear them laughing. She'd nudged him. "You coulda' gone with them," she said and he grinned at her.
"Naw…I hunted the last one. Let 'em have their fun. Three on one, that's not hunt…that's just herding. Might as well take him down to the slaughtering shed and do him there with the three of us after him."
She'd leaned into him, listening to the boys laughing. Everybody in a good mood.
"Daddy," she said quietly just after the man stopped screaming. Wouldn't take long for the boys to bring the carcass back. They'd want whiskey and music on the phonograph. They'd bring up the heart, offer it to Pa. Respect he said. And Pa would get out the camera. That fancy Polaroid one with the pictures that showed up like magic. "I slept on it and thought about it. About the other one." She almost said his name, but he didn't need to know that yet. Not yet. "Did you?"
He looked at her, reached over and pushed her hair back. "I did. I thought on it most of last night. Some more today. You sure about this, sweetheart? Ain't no need to rush such things."
"I'm sure," she said, wrapping her fingers around his arm. "Best now. Spring'll be over soon. Could have me a baby before harvest. Have you a grandchild by Christmas."
"Baby's are hard work."
"Ain't afraid of that."
"I know. I know, sugar," he said patting her arm. "You're already a hard worker. You'll make a fine momma. But you know…don’t always take the first time. A man's seed. Now, your momma, she caught fast. But not every time. So…you know, I don't want you to be disappointed. We can wait a bit. You know where you are in your blooding? 'Cause when the blood stops, that's the sign."
He'd hugged her to him then and she'd snuggled up close. He smelled of the shine he'd already been sipping, smelt of woodsmoke and coal oil. It was sunk deep in his coat, in his clothes and his hair. She liked them smells.
"All right, then. But they's going to be…like the boys and their women, girl. I know you like him but you can't trust 'em, the ones from out there," he said. "They can speak sweet and be mean. They's not part of us. That one -- like as not, he knows what he was brought here for. What he thinks he was brought here for. That's going to make him scared. And scared men is dangerous, so…be like the boys with their women. Only the boys will be there, you hear?"
"Hush. I'll keep my word, but I promised your momma I'd keep you safe and that promise comes first, you understand me?"
Pa wasn't going to budge on this. Not with that tone. She nodded. "I understand."
"All right, Now the boys won't be there, but they's going to be close. Real close. But…it can still be nice. It'll be nice as I can make it, Missy. You'll use me and your momma's room."
She knew her eyes were wide as saucers. Her own bed was hard and narrow, and the cage would be…well, she didn't want her first time to be in the barn, no matter how nice Lee said it could be.
Pa wasn't looking at her. He was staring out, listing to the boys get closer. "I'll talk to the boys in the morning. Tonight's for them, for their hunt, but come breakfast…I'll tell them. And you need to…" he patted her arm again. "Might hurt some the first time, Missy. You're a small woman. Big enough for this but still…might hurt some. You need to be ready for that. And you need to watch him, even with the boys. He could hurt you then…just to be mean."
"I'll be careful, Daddy," she said, a little confused. Didn't hurt when she touched herself; felt real good. But, if Pa said so…
She felt bad now, with Pa and Lee yelling, Jarrod off sulking and licking his wounds. The boys had been so happy last night. Pa too. They'd put on the music, gotten out the whiskey, taken pictures. It was like a birthday or Christmas.
And when Pa had cut her a little sliver of heart-meat, he'd winked at her. Winked! "Good heart builds a strong heart," he'd said, making her blush so much Lee had noticed, wanted to know what it was, but Pa had that gleam in his eyes. They had a secret him and her. Just for the night. But right then, he'd looked at her all happy and proud. Best thing she could do for him ever was to give him a grandson. Someone else he could have a hand in raising -- another line in the family so their ways wouldn't die out.
That was a lot to carry, a lot of trust he put in her. She thought she might explode from the responsibility of it. Thought she might die from the shame of lying to her pa.
That lie was out now. Part of it, but she was still holding the other secret. The one she hadn't shared.
Pa and Lee had stopped yelling but she could hear Lee stomping through the house. He busted out the door and nearly knocked her off the porch. He glared at her. His nose was bloody and his cheek was swelling. He sucked on his teeth, used his tongue to clear some blood from his lip. "Pa wants to talk to you," he said and then stepped off the porch, yelling for Jarrod.
She got up and went inside quick, found Pa in his favorite chair in front of the fireplace. He was still mad.
"Lee said you wanted to see me, Daddy," she said quiet.
He looked up at her face, frowning. Looked like Lee had got a hit in anyway. Stupid boy.
"If you'd'a asked…You shoulda' asked me, Missy."
"I'm sorry, Pa. I am. I just wanted to…"
"Be quiet. I don’t tolerate you lying to me, girl. Not you. Not your brothers."
Missy nodded but even so, not saying nothing wasn't the same as lying was it? He hadn't asked, hadn't even known she'd gone to the barn with Jarrod until he said something.
"I don't want your sorries," he said getting up and catching her chin in his hand, jerking her head up. "'Cause I know you, girl. You going to expect me to keep my word, because I do. I always do. But you tell me why I should when you're sneaking around, disobeying me. Twice now! I let the first one slide cause you stayed back...but you got in the cage with him. Talked to him, without asking me. You don't talk to nobody unless I say so. How many times have I told you that?"
"A lot. A lot of times, Daddy. Pa, Pa, I'm sorry. I just -- I was just…" she didn't try to jerk her head away. "I just wanted…I want what you had with Momma. You talk abut her all the time and I don't hardly remember her but …she made you real happy. I just wanted…want…I want to be happy like that. Like you and momma."
His grip on her chin got easier and he blinked at her, looked away, dropping his hand.
"I've spent my whole life keeping you and your brothers safe, kept us together, kept this family fed and clothed. Only thing I ever asked any of you was to do as I say. You ever heard me ask you -- any of you -- to do anything else?" he demanded.
Made her want to cry when Pa got like this. So disappointed, in her, in her brothers. She felt so bad, she really did but she didn't think she asked for much either, or didn't fuss much when she didn't get it. Not getting to hunt, not getting to go into town. It wasn't fair, none of it. "Pa, I was wrong. I'm sorry. And it's my fault Jarrod didn't say nothing," she said even though it weren't entirely true. Jarrod had wanted his hunt and got it. Was only fair she got what she wanted too, except…she had to handle this just right. Had to. No one had come looking yet. Maybe they wouldn't. Might be Samuel's brother didn't even know where to look.
She should tell him. She should. But if she did, that'd be the end of it. Maybe forever. She'd shoulda told him yesterday. Too late. Too late now. Maybe for everything, maybe unless…if he changed his mind, she wouldn't need to tell. "Daddy, I did wrong. I know it. So, I won't hold you to your promise. I won't," she said.
For a minute she thought she'd made a mistake. Pa's face got dark, got redder. She wanted to step back but she held her ground, met his eye.
"Ain't up to you if I keep my word or not," he said finally. "I keep my word, girl. You ever known me not to?"
"No, sir," she said.
He nodded at her. "All right then. But you hear me, girl. You'd best hope you catch quick. And you stay away from him unless I say you can go. I catch your down there with him again, without me knowing and I will lift your dress and whip you bloody. And I will shoot him in the head, whether you catch yourself with child or not. You understand me?"
"I understand, Daddy. Only when you say."
He stared hard at her and she stared back. Had to. She hadn't ever lied to her Pa. Not like this. He ever found out and he'd do more than whip stripes on her back.
"All right. You finish your chores. You go up to your room after supper. You don’t come upstairs before then, you don't go down to the barns except to feed the stock and you make sure that waste pit is limed good. We got bones to get rid of. Now git."
She didn't hesitate. She just ran.
All day, she stayed quiet, stayed out of his way, out of Jarrod and Lee's. Did her chores without a word. She put extra lime in the pit which was hard because it was wet and the lime clumped up, then she spent a long time in the stream, rinsing her arms over and over, and her clothes, until she was shivering.
Supper was quieter than usual. Dinner after a hunt, usually everybody was still in a good mood, still talking about it. They didn't talk about nothing but what work Jarrod had gotten done, that the sow was close to farrowing. Missy offered up that they'd need more lime. Lee was more sullen than usual.
When they finished, Missy started to clear the table but her Pa stopped her. "You go on up to your room now, girl. You wait for me there, you hear me?"
It took him forever to come upstairs, but she heard him. Could hear the boys too, clomping up the stairs. Lee was cursing, but she thought she heard Jarrod laugh. Sun had set by the time Pa finally came to her door, carrying a lamp, setting it on her dresser. In his hands he held a package wrapped up in newspaper.
He waved her to the bed, and she sat, fidgeting, until he sat beside her, gave her the bundle. "This was your momma's. She didn't wear it but once or twice, and I was to give it to you, when you was a little older," he said and Missy peeled back the paper.
It came out of Momma's chest. She could smell the cedar and camphor, but not so strong, like Pa had let it air. The fabric was thin, but soft. Part of the hem and the pretty lacy stitching there had rotted but the rest of it felt soft under her fingers. It was all pale blue with fancy stitchin' on the neck, along the hem. Store bought, because there was a little tag in the back.
"Woman likes to feel pretty for her man, Lida always said, " he said.
"Oh, Pa…Pa!" she said and flung her arms around his neck. He held her a little, patted her back. "Go on. Put it on. Your brothers are getting your beau ready for you."
She didn't think twice, kicking off her shoes and shedding her worn jumper. Didn't even hardly notice when her Pa looked away then back as she shimmied into the dress. It was a little long for her but the skirt was full. Fit a little snug across her breasts but she unbuttoned it a bit and that helped and she liked the way the soft fabric and fancy stitching rubbed on her nipples.
Lord, she wasn't even touching herself and already she felt that heat in her belly, heavy through her girl parts.
"Bring me your brush, girl," he said and she did, sat a down while he pulled the heavy brush through her hair over and over. When it was slick and untangled, he pulled it into three heavy strands, braiding it like he did ropes, tying off the end with a strip of ribbon he pulled from the bundle.
He got up with her, guided her to the tarnished mirror over her dresser.
She didn't look like herself at all with her hair pulled back, and that blue dress making her skin look paler than it was.
"I look like Momma," she said quiet, eyes wide.
"You do, girl. You look just like her at your age. Strong like her. Smart like her. You remember that. You remember that there wasn't nothing more important her than this family, her family. You keep that in mind." He laid his hands on her shoulders. "Someday, I'm gonna be gone, Missy-girl. That's the way it works. Better I go out on a hunt, than just getting old. But, this family….you're going to be the one who keeps this family together. Your brothers are good boys, but we both know they ain't smart as you. Jarrod especially. But between you and Jarrod, you can keep Lee in line. Keep him from hunting to many, too often."
"Yes, Daddy," she said and turned around to face him. "I won't disappoint you, Pa. You'll see. I might like this feller, I do. But I don't love him like I do you. Like I love Jarrod and even Lee, mean as he is," she said and that made Pa smile.
"All right, then. You go on. Boys should have him ready. You remember what I said. Might hurt some. There's grease. Jarrod's got it. He gets mouthy, Lee'll gag him. If he behaves himself, then we'll see about…about…we'll see," he said and sat on her bed.
"Ain't you coming, Pa?"
He shook his head. "No. No, I'll wait here for you. You just…might hurt some at first, but your momma, wasn't nothing she liked better'n be with me like that. It's what women were made for, pleasing their men, taking back, giving 'em sons and daughters."
"I'll remember. Thank you, pa," she said and took a deep breath. That warm feeling in her stomach turned to butterflies and nervousness, but she caught up her dress and headed down the hall.
Jarrod was there, outside Pa's room and he looked at her, up and down. "Missy, you are pretty as a picture."
She grinned up at him and the butterflies settled, only to come back again when Jarrod opened the door.
She didn't hardly recognize the room. Looked smaller with the curtains tacked up from the ceiling, hanging down around the bed. There had to be six lamps in the room, making it bright like the rooms downstairs where the electricity ran.
She knew her mouth was hanging open and she wanted to cry.
Her Pa had done this for her. Made this all pretty. And she'd lied to him, keeping things back from him.
She stopped. She should tell him. If Samuel's brother came looking…
"What you waiting for, girl?" Lee said and pulled back the curtain.
Samuel's eyes were wide as hers. They had him tied to the bed, one of Pa's quilts half covering him but he was bare under there, chest and legs and arms. He had a new bruise on his cheek; looked like his lip was swelling some.
"You can't be serious!" Samuel said, pulling at the ropes holding his wrists and ankles to the iron bedstead. "God, you can't…Missy…you're just a girl. You're just a child."
For some reason that made her mad, almost as mad as if he'd called her something uglier. "I ain't," she said and hiked her skirt up to get on the bed. "I been a woman full on for almost a year," she said and flicked the covers back a bit. He had scars on him, across his side, on his arms. Right under the nipple on the left side. But his skin was brown, a little smudged with dirt but smooth. No hair on him or hardly none. Not like on Lee and her daddy.
"Missy, you don't want to do this. I don't want this…"
She stopped, stared at him. "What? I ain't pretty enough for you?"
He swallowed and shook his head. "Missy. You are just a little girl. This is wrong."
"My momma was only a year older when she got with my Daddy."
She tugged the blankets back, caught Lee looking in and glared at him, snatched the curtain closed.
He was bigger than Lee. Was soft too. The butterflies came back but she reached out anyway, touching him, felt him twitch and he groaned softly, tried to pull his feet free.
"Missy. Your mother…she loved your Daddy, right?"
"Uh huh," she said and touched him again, using her whole palm and watched his skin flush. His penis was soft, the skin getting smoother when she touched him. Just like Lee had…getting hard.
"But you don't love me and I don't--" he sucked in a breath when she curled her fingers around him and squeezed, using her other hand to pet, touch the big swollen head of him.
"I might could," she said. Fascinated and pleased that it took so little. She looked up at him, and he had his eyes squeezed shut, hand gripping the bed frame. She let him go and crawled up, touching his face. His eyes opened. "Maybe. If you stayed. I might could. You might love me back. It's a good farm. Pa takes good care of us…" she said and bent her head, just brushing her lips on his cheek. "Always room for family."
He shook his head. "Missy, I have a fam--" she pressed her mouth over his, hard. His eyes got wide and he tried to pull away.
He was going to say it. He would. If Jarrod or Lee heard him…
She pulled back and had to use both hands to cover his mouth and leaned down. "You tell them…" she said soft and low. "They will kill you." She stared at him, watched his eyes flick to the curtains, then back to her.
She eased her hand back. "Won't they anyway?" he asked just as soft, but his eyes were narrowed, looked harder than he had before.
She smiled. "Not if you are nice to me," she said and leaned over to kiss him again. He jerked his head away.
Pa had been right. They could get mean. She didn't much like the look on his face. And she'd wanted him to kiss her back, wanted to know what that felt like.
She moved over him, hiking her dress up again to straddle his chest, felt his bare skin on her private parts and got that little thrill.
She tried to remember everything she'd watched Lee and Jarrod do, things them girls of theirs had done to them -- things she'd tried on herself when she could. Her fingers raked over his chest, not hard, but leaving white lines. Watched his breath catch, a dark nipple get a little rise to it. Not so different then, she though and rocked against him. Not enough pressure, not enough of him touching her. She unbuttoned her dress, pulled it off her shoulders and let it pool around her waist.
He looked at her then closed his eyes and turned his head away again.
She blew out a breath. This was harder than she thought. She looked back and his penis was all soft again, not as dark laying there on his thigh.
Lee liked it when his women touched with their breasts, but if Samuel wouldn't even look at her…
Didn't matter none. She scooted back some more, on his legs, and gripped his penis, pushing it up on his belly and using her body to hold it there. He tensed up again, muscles straining in his shoulders. His wrists were starting to get red. He'd make himself bleed if he didn’t stop.
"Missy, you all right?" Jarrod asking, kind of soft. She swore she heard Lee snicker.
"Yes. I'm fine!" she said, and leaned over to grab the edge of the curtain. Better be Jarrod. She'd punch Lee in the nose if he was laughing at her.
Jarrod looked surprised when she pulled the curtain back, more surprised when his eyes dropped to her bare breasts. "Pa said you had grease. What do I do with it?"
He handed her the tub, the faded blue label half peeling off. "Y..you put it on him. On his penis, get him good and slick. That'll…get him hard… hard enough for--"
"Maybe he don't like girls," Lee said in that gaspy voice that Missy knew. He was laughing at her. She grabbed the tub and twisted around, pulling back the curtains on the other side.
Lee was still laughing but he about half stopped, looking at her breasts like Jarrod had. "You'd best stop that before I get Pa," she hissed at him.
Lee stopped laughing and glared, then took a breath, looked up at Samuel's face. "That the way this is, boy? You don't like girls?"
"I don't have sex with children," Samuel said through gritted teeth. "She's your sister."
"Yes, she is. And she done told you she ain't no child. Missy, you want him to give you what you want, you're gonna have to touch him. Best you do it with your mouth. Works faster. "
"My mouth?" she said eyeing him. She wasn't sure she'd seen them girls do that with their mouth and she hadn't forgotten Lee trying to put his in her mouth neither. .
"He's right, Missy," Jarrod said but he didn't stick his head in. "Feels real good for a feller, then you can grease him."
Jarrod wouldn’t lie to her about this, so she set the tub down and backed up some more.
"You don’t have to take all of him," Lee told her as she leaned down.
Samuel made a strangled noise as her mouth touched him, jerked his hips back and to the side, trying to buck her off.
Lee came right into the bed with her, but up on the side, one big hand pressing up against Samuel's throat. "I ain't sitting in here all night, waiting for you to get in the mood, boy," he said and squeezed Samuel's throat in warning. "Do it, Missy," Lee growled at her.
She bent her head again.
Lee only had to warn him twice more, and he left bruises on Samuel's skin. But they was right. Mouth and hands and Samuel was hard as Lee had been in her hand that day. Got harder still when she rubbed a lot of the grease over the thick length of him.
Took her a second to figure out the rest, because usually Lee and Jarrod was on top of the girls, but she supposed it didn't matter, as long as the right part got into the right place.
She thought Samuel might have started praying when she fit herself right up against him, and grease or no grease, it burned, felt like it would stretch her wide enough to tear something. She found herself staring at Lee, watching his face instead of Samuel's.
"That's it, girl. You won't break. You just ain't used to it."
She was pretty sure something did tear, it felt like it anyway. Her eyes burned a little but touching her breast helped, blossoming new pain as she pinched herself; distraction easing off on the other. Then Samuel moved like he couldn't help it. Just a jerk of his hips, a sound in the back of his throat. She pushed down, felt that other feeling, the one she liked, start up. She wriggled a little and felt some of the ache ease, then leaned back, felt the pressure there.
She pushed her finger there, where he fit into her and rubbed, got that shivery feeling and rocked.
"Oh, God, please. Don't…" Samuel wasn't doing more than whispering and she didn't know why or how he kept trying to hold himself so still.
"Pull up a bit, Missy," Lee coached her, his voice all low and deep. He was still close enough to deal with Samuel if need be, but he was watching her, his face flushed, one hand rubbing between his legs.
She did what he said, found that warm feeling wash through her and dropped back down. Pushed up again.
Wasn't long before she felt Samuel moving with her; jerky, still not like she'd seen Lee do. She rubbed along her pee hole, then down to where his penis sank into her, rubbing the base and felt Samuel shudder under her.
Was her making him do that. She did it again and watched him dig his head back into the bed. He had blood on his mouth, on his arms from the ropes.
He couldn't hold his seed back from her. She felt him there, jerking and twisting, quick and sharp, the wet hot feel inside, the shiver that overtook him, the sound that escaped him. She was close herself but she needed something more. Wanted something, but she could feel him going soft inside and he was breathing fast and hard.
She rocked against him harder, using her fingers, rubbing and twisting until that feeling came, hit her hard and made her make a little sound she didn't know she could.
Her thighs hurt and her back ached a little as she pulled herself up, wondering if she should worry about how much of his seed was escaping her, but she was too tired. She stretched out, Samuel's skin all warm and sweaty and she though maybe Lee pulled the blanket up around her. Or maybe it was Jarrod. Had to be.
Wrapped up in the blanket and his arms and he carried her out. She thought she heard Lee talking to Samuel, might have heard Samuel say something back, sharp and hard, and then it was cut off, muffled, bed springs squeaking.
Jarrod toted her all the way down the hall.
She knew that scent, woodsmoke and coal oil and her Pa held her just like he had when she was little. "Jarrod, There's hot water on the stove. You bring it up. She's going to be sore."
"Yes, Daddy, "Jarrod said.
"Watching that feller 'til I come back to help haul him back to the barn."
"All right. You get the water for your sister first."
Her pa crooned to her, rocked her a little and Missy rubbed at her belly, wondering if there was a baby in there already, just starting. She thought there might be. Seemed like anything she had to work that hard for ought to be her due.
Her pa eased her into a bath, just for a little bit, then carried her back to his room. Samuel was gone, but the bed still smelled like him, was still warm, with that sharp scent he'd given off. She fell asleep wondering if her baby would have her Pa's eyes or maybe Samuel's green ones.
She found herself worrying about what color Samuel's brother's eyes were.
In her dreams they were green and angry.
In her dreams her Pa's eye were dull and empty.