Two triple drabbles:
Title: Leaving Kansas (Post "Home")
No pairing, no warnings, no spoilers
Folks don't stay out very late
Way out West in Kansas,
They take the sidewalks in at eight
Way out West in Kansas
It's some town, by heck, I'll swear,
You can stand in the old town square
And knock on ev..er...y front door
Way out West in Kansas
(Way Out West in Kansas~Carson Robinson 1924)
They were heading for Topeka. Sam didn't question it. They needed gas, they needed distance, they needed to move on.
Seeing his mother hadn't changed Dean's mind about Lawrence or the house. Yeah, he might be willing to come back, just to check, maybe see if he could dig up memories that weren't painful. Maybe to see Missouri, but he'd be damn sure he had another reason for popping back into town.
And it wouldn't be because of the Instant-win Lottery Ticket Missouri had slipped him.
He'd eyed her when she handed it to him. They'd stopped to say good-bye to Jenny and her kids. Dean thought Sari might be developing a little crush on Sam. Missouri had offered to explain to Jenny exactly what had happened.
Missouri could have ragged on Dean a whole lot more, just for taking on that task.
"Don't look at me like that," she said when he'd fingered the ticket.
"This is a winner?" he'd asked, openly skeptical.
She'd snorted. "Some gifts work better for other people than they do for yourself. Don't think you're gonna be retiring on what's in that ticket," she'd warned, and glanced over at where Sam was crouched down, talking and smiling at Sari. "I'd give it to Sam but he’d give it to Jenny," she said.
Dean eyed at Jenny, caught her eye and smiled. "Does she need it?" he asked quietly.
Missouri gave him a look that was half amused and still wryly affectionate. "She does but don't you worry on it. You and your brother, you got a lot of road to cover. You need it too. I'll look after Jenny. She'll be all right." She'd given Dean a hard look, then, "You just keep doing what you do best, Dean Winchester. You don’t give up."
Sari had drawn him a picture. No monsters, no fiery ghosts, just the house, bright and welcoming under a yellow Kansas sun, the yard filled with flowers that Sari hadn't seen bloom yet. Sam folded it up and put it in his pocket.
He'd walked the house once more, lingered in the nursery he didn't remember, stared at the ceilings that didn't mean fear. He felt nothing now, in this house. It was still a strange place to him, mostly unremembered.
Jenny had repairs to make. They'd offered to help but she'd told them no, they'd done enough. Sam thought that was probably a double-edged comment and hadn't pushed.
He caught Missouri watching him. He had a hundred questions for her. "You think they'll be happy here?"
She shrugged and looked around. "Home isn't always a place, Sam. It's what you make it. If she wants this to be home, Jenny'll make it home."
He knew that. He did. It just wasn't something he'd practiced in awhile. Walking out with Missouri, he closed his eyes and tried once more to feel something.
Not spirits, or ghosts or even his mother's presence.
He wondered if before, if before that night, if his parents and his brother had been happy here. If the joy and the laughter that maybe once filled these rooms might also have a ghost that could come back and this time help Jenny and Sari and Rickie make this a home for a lifetime. He felt no echo.
It wasn't his and never had been. Whatever had tied him to this house was gone.
Home was outside, waiting by the car. Home was his brother. Home wasn’t somewhere Sam needed to be, it was something he needed to remember to take with him.
Like the picture in his pocket.